Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Sicky Chicky

Fact: I love my internship (most days, anyway). It does have its downsides, though. From my experience, elementary schools are hot spots for all kinds of bacteria. Since I work in close quarters with my students and many of them do not know how to cover their hands when they cough and also like to touch, oh, everything, no matter how much I wash my hands and disinfect my office, I will get sick. And I have. Several times this semester. Most of the sicknesses have not been too bad. I didn't, you know, die or anything.

Another bout of illness kicked in this weekend. Let me tell you what, I hate being sick so, so much. Usually I'll work through it as long as I can, cause I know if I just rest, there will be nothing to distract me from my misery. It's not like I'm trying to be a trooper, I just like distraction. I'm sure it sucks for those around me cause I'm undoubtedly very whiny, not to mention all my sniffs and moans. But today, I just couldn't do it. After I was finished at my internship (which included making an eight-year-old cry. Great day all around) I took note of how very miserable and non-functional I was and took a sick day.

Sick days are the one of the best things about being married. I don't have my mom around to take care of me... but I have Lewis! Not to be cheesy, but he's the best. He takes such good care of me when I'm sick. He made me dinner (mac and cheese) and he did the dishes. So great.

So today, instead of wallowing in misery, or suffering through work (while probably not actually getting much done), I took a day off. I took a nap, I read a book, and now we're enjoying season two of 24 (nobody's crying! Nobody, I say!).

So... that's all. I'm sick, but it's a little bit okay.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Dear Husband

It's 8:30 and I'm tired, but Lewis won't let me take a nap, so to get him back, I'm going to fill out this -

Concerning husbands:

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
Right this second, it's Planet Earth. Other favorites include the Office, 30 Rock, Law and Order, 24, and sportz. Especially college football. Go Cougs!

2. What kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
Typically ranch, but he'll spring for caesar if he's feeling daring.

3. What's one food he doesn't like?
Those candy circus peanuts. They just look gross.

4. You go out to eat and have a drink?
Dr. Pepper or pepsi. Sometimes root beer, sprite, or apple beer, but only sometimes.

5. Where did he go to high school?
Provo. It's nice cause our high schools have the same mascot.

6. What size shoe does he wear?
I asked him and he said, "I'm pretty sure you have to do this one on your own." So I don't know.

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
Signed footballs. We'd have a room just for them.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
The type from Subway. Chicken breast on wheat with provolone, tomatoes, green peppers, olives, lettuce, and a little bit of onion. I've ordered it once or twice.

9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
Moro bars. But not gross ones that melted on the way over here from New Zealand.

10. What is his favorite cereal?
Well, he really likes Marshmallow Mateys and Coco Roos, but the other day we found Chocolate Marshmallow Mateys - the best of both. Pretty sure that takes the cake. Or possibly pancake.

11. What would he never wear?
Red. Excepts for when Tiger is playing in the Masters or any other major golf tournament. On Sunday.

12. What is his favorite sports team?
The Brigham Young University Football Team. Followed by the San Francisco 49ers (he's a big fan of cousin Steve) and the Utah Jazz. Rounding out the top five are Cougar Basketball and Hockey (teams 2-4 are in no particular order)

13. Who did he vote for?
Gasp! Voter confidentiality, people! (Obama)

14. Who is his best friend?
Well, Bronco Mendenhall is his favorite person, but they're not really on speaking terms. So maybe me. Or Kyle or Royce - his BFFs.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do?
Take naps and be happy. Apparently.

16. What is his heritage?
Brigham's brothers. Two of 'em.

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
Snap, I don't think I've baked him a cake before. I guess we've only ever celebrated one of his birthdays together (don't judge us), and his mom bought a Costco cake for it. So maybe pie.

18. Did he play sports in high school?
Football and hockey and ballroom dancing. And skiing.

19. What could he spend hours doing?
Watching football. And I could too.

20. What is one unique talent he has?
I would tell you, but my mom reads my blog.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A Few Words on Bicycles

For starters, let it be known that I am pro-bike. I love 'em. I wish I could ride one more often because, truly, they're awesome. What a great way to travel. You get exercise and a good feeling for not further polluting this good earth further, all in one. It's a twofer. Really. I mean it.

That being said, I feel the need to call all the bike riders of the world or perhaps just Provo to submit to them this formal request:

To the bike riders of the world or perhaps just Provo, hark. The time has come to choose. Are you a pedestrian or a car? You don't need to make one decision that everyone has to stick with. Rather, each of you can make the choice for him- or herself: pedestrian or car? But once you have made that decision, you gotta commit. None of this namby-pamby, I'm a car until there's a red light, then oh snap, JK, I'm a pedestrian, I'm a pedestrian! I don't care which one you each pick. Just one or the other. Cause, seriously? Your ticking me off. Like whoa. It's time to get off the fence.

That's all.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Whiskey Tango Hotel, Wake Forest? Whiskey Tango Hotel?

Really, Wake Forest? You lost to Cleveland State? Really? Why, why, why did you lose? That game shouldn't have even been close! Oh wait. It wasn't! You got stepped on by Cleveland State!

I don't think you realize what this does to me. I had you in the Final freaking Four. The Final Four! Pretty much, because of you, it's time to say good-bye to my bracket. It's ruined. Like whoa.

I don't even care any more. You broke me. As far as I'm concerned, March Madness is over and there's just a whole lot of basketball on TV that of course I'm going to watch. You're dead to me.

And YOU, Utah! I wasn't going to say anything about the other teams that pooped on my bracket last night, but I just hate you so much that I feel justified. The one time I give you any credit, what do you do? You lose. By a lot. Really, Utah? Never again.

To Cleveland and Arizona States, well done. You may have ruined my chances at anything and everything, but I know how to appreciate a good upset. And you both pulled fantastic upsets. And now you play each other - 13 and 12 seeds, respectively. One of you is going to make it to the sweet 16. Well done, indeed.

And a hearty pat on the back to Wisconsin. I picked you over Florida State, in a 12-5 seed upset. Thank you for looking out for me, even if those jerks over in the Midwest region screwed it up.

Friday, March 20, 2009


To the men's basketball teams of Minnesota, Akron, Illinois, Tennessee, Utah State, and BYU:

What were you thinking? You lost in the first round. Did you not understand that you were supposed to win? I picked you all to win this round. And what did you do? You lost.

Minnesota: while I am still highly disappointed, I am most forgiving of your lost. 10-7 seedings are rife with upsets, but there's always at least one that goes to the 7 seed. I should have known.

Akron and Illinois: the winners of both of your games play each other. Do you know what that means? It means that I will definitely lose points in the next round too because you both lost. You freaking tools. Akron, I had you to upset Gonzaga. Sure, historically they are a fantastic tournament team, but they lost the last two years in the first round. It would have been so easy to get in their heads and pull an upset, but no. You choked.
As for you Illinois--seriously? You lost to Western Kentucky. Western Kentucky! How in the world could you let that happen? It's Western freaking Kentucky!

Tennessee: true, you only lost by two points. But I'm irrational and I don't care. I hate you for losing.

Utah State: you are one of the most underrated teams in the country. You had the chance to prove everyone wrong and you miffed it. The fact that you only lost by a point is not the point.

BYU: you know you will always have my loyalty. But this trend of losing in the first round every single NCAA tournament you make it to has got to stop. 1993 was a long time ago, boys. A very long time. It's time to win again. But not this year. You lost this year.

To Louisville, Ohio State, freaking Utah, Wake Forest, Dayton, USC, Michigan State, Missouri, Pittsburgh, Wisconsin, Xavier, and Temple - you had better win. You had just better. All of you. I mean it.

Oh, and UCLA? I appreciate you pulling it out, but come on. VCU? Let's show a little more hustle in your game against Duke. After that, you may lose. But only after.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Super Lyssa!

I challenge you to be as awesome as me. I have a final paper due on Friday for my internship class. Ten pages + eight professional references + two church-related references = a pain in anyone's butt. But I got it done today in THREE HOURS AND FIFTEEN MINUTES. And I didn't even have to alter the margins to 1.15 inches or make the font 12.5 to make it seem longer... I wrote an extra half a page as is! Plus I added a chart I talked about in it as an appendix. PLUS I really put thought in to it and didn't do a sloppy job... yeah. I'm that awesome.

Go ahead and try. I freaking challenge you.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Dear Facebook... Pretty Much You Owe Me Big

Like much of the world, I am a Facebook user. Unlike much of the world, I have been on Facebook for four and a half years.

It's true! Back when I joined, Facebook was exclusive. It was only open to colleges, and a limited number at that. Shortly after BYU was added to their growing list (circa September 2004), a friend of mine from Dartmouth sent me an invite and I began my four and a half year long (and counting!) journey.

Back when I joined Facebook:

-It was known as TheFacebook - I remember when the "The" was dropped.

-You could only join a group if it was made for your network.

-You could browse all the groups in your network. There were maybe 10 when I joined.

-I created one of those first groups. It was about pirates.

-We were impressed when we got over 100 members in the group, and kept pushing towards 200.

-You could also browse all the people in your network. There were maybe 30 when I joined.

-Mini feed? What's that?

-You could write something on someone's wall, and someone else could edit what you wrote.

-Other than your profile picture, you couldn't post any photos to your profile.

-It was acceptable to add people you didn't know to your friend list. A good chunk of my "friends" were people I had never heard of.

-When someone updated their profile, it didn't say what they updated.

-There were none of these annoying applications. No one cared which Harry Potter character you are.

-There was an actual face to represent Facebook. He was blue, and made out of numbers.

-Gifts? I don't get it.

As I'm sure you can tell - no doubt much of this sounds foreign to you, unlike any Facebook you know of - I've been around this website for a while. I know it's ins and outs and what it was like, you know, back in the day.

So, it's been established: I've been on Facebook for some time. In my long and prolific history with the social networking phenomenon, I have brought many people into the fold. I think it's fair to say that each of my immediate family members except for my dad joined because of me... two of my freshman roommates joined because of me... various co-workers and other friends also have me to thank for their introduction to the site. And who knows how many of them were the cause of their friends and family members to join! The list could go on and on.

What I'm trying to say is, Facebook, you have upwards of 175 million users, right? Isn't it fair to say that I had a hand, direct or indirect, in a decent-sized percentage of that 175 mil? Don't you think it's time to thank me for my loyal service? I'd like a slice of that lucrative financial pie. I'll take cash, check, or PayPal. Whichever is convenient to you. Also, you're welcome.

Monday, March 9, 2009

I'm Trusting You, AccuWeather.com!

I was all set to force my opinion of "lol" on all you devoted blog readers of mine, but then something more pressing happened: it started snowing.

Now, I'm okay with the seasons going where they belong: winter is supposed to last from December to March, I get that. In fact, I downright encourage it. But, Weather, once you start in one direction, you gotta commit. At this time last week, it was 60 freaking degrees outside. I know the old adage, "In like a lion, out like a lamb," but if that's what you're going to do, then that's what you need to do. None of this, in like a lamb, then maybe some more lion, and then I'll think about going back to a lamb or something. Maybe a camel. I mean, really! I do not need this stress!

As any concerned citizen would do, once it started snowing, I decided a check on the weather forecast was in order. AccuWeather.com told me that tomorrow I could expect "Plenty of clouds" with a high of 42. Wednesday should bring "Partly sunny" with a whopping 47 degrees of highness. And for the next fifteen days, it is only supposed to get better. Now, on Sunday, March 15th, there's the possibility of a rain and snow shower, but with a low of 32, I have hope that that won't be too big of a deal. On the 19th and 20th we're supposed to be all the way in the mid-60s. March 22nd has been labeled as a day of "Brilliant sunshine." Similarly, the 23rd has been forecasted to bring "Abundant sunshine" - abundant! Abundant! I want that abundance!

Now, I realize that weather forecasting is a very imprecise science, and that it would be completely irrational for me to be so thoroughly annoyed if it doesn't pan out the way AccuWeather.com says it's supposed to. But I don't care. AccuWeather.com, you will face my wrath if Weather does not deliver. You've been warned.

Friday, March 6, 2009

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

That's right, my friends, it's Girl Scout Cookie time! About a month ago, a lady at my internship approached me with an order form on behalf of her daughter and, shoot. How could I say no? I ordered three boxes. And let me tell you what, it was a hard, hard thing to narrow it down to just three boxes. I would have gotten more, but they are $3.50 a pop.

While I love them and will never not buy them when presented with opportunity, I do have an issue with Girl Scout Cookies. And that issue is simple: volume. There is simply too much wasted space in a Girl Scout Cookie box that could be taken up with more cookies. Trays, please. Cellophane wrap, what's that? Unnecessary space wasters that's what it is. They only cookie the package decently is the Thin Mint. They cram 36 of those suckers into one box! Tagalongs and Samoas only come with 15! Why can't they package them like the Thin Mints? Aren't all Girl Scout Cookies created equal?

The simple truth is that, no, not all Girl Scout Cookies are created equal. Certain varieties simply just superior to others. Allow me to break it down for you.

The Thin Mint: the most well-known of all the Girl Scout Cookies, the Thin Mint is a thin, mint flavored wafer covered in dark chocolate. Good frozen, room temperature, or slammed (ask Lewis for more information about cookie slamming).

The Samoa: also known as the Caramel DeLite, the Samoa is the most popular of the Girl Scout Cookies, not to be confused with the country of the same name. Currently, 25% of boxes sold are Samoas. It is a round cookie with a hole in the middle, covered with caramel and coconut, and then drizzled with dark chocolate. It should be noted that the Thin Mint and the Samoa are among the few food items that have successfully integrated dark chocolate into society as their main focus, and not as a variety. There are no milk chocolate Samoas or Thin Mints, nor should there be. Basically nothing else can say that.

The Tagalong: also known as the Peanut Butter Pattie, the Tagalong is a round cookie with a layer of peanut butter covered in milk chocolate. This used to be my favorite Girl Scout Cookie, but recently I've decided that it's just okay. I mean, I'm always down for combination of peanut butter and chocolate, but the peanut butter in this cookie is just this side of bland. That doesn't stop me from buying a box, though maybe that's more for tradition than anything else.

The Do-si-do: don't ask me why, but where the Girl Scouts failed with Tagalongs, they succeeded with Do-si-dos. The peanut butter in this cookie is spot on. Maybe it's because the Do-si-do doesn't have a milk chocolate layer to compete with. Maybe it's because the Girl Scouts outsource cookie production to multiple food companies. Whatever the reason, the Do-si-do is an oatmeal cookie sandwich with a layer of peanut butter squeezed in the middle, smack dab in the middle. I didn't buy any, though. The Do-si-do offers me nothing unique. The same kind of cookie can be found on grocery store shelves year round. It's just a different brand.

The Trefoil: this is a shortbread cookie, with the - get this - Girl Scout Trefoil design. While I'm not entirely sure what a trefoil is (or wasn't, until I looked it up on Wikipedia), it's a very nice design. The cookie, however, is meh. I have no strong feelings about shortbread. It's probably fair to say that on any given day I will not give shortbread a single thought. Shortbread and I just don't have any sort of relationship. We can coexist peacefully, but don't expect me to spend money on it. I guess I'm mostly talking about shortbread by itself. Shortbread covered or filled with something else it an entirely different story and is called a Tagalong.

The All About or Thanks-A-Lot: this grateful cookie (also known as the Animal Treasure) is of the also of the shortbread variety, but with its bum dipped in fudge. It has the words, "Thank You" embossed on the top in English, Spanish, French, Chinese, and Swahili. I think all the languages are featured in each box - sort of like a boxed United Nations. Having never sampled this cookie, I have no opinion on them beyond wondering where the name "Animal Treasure" comes in. I don't need the Girl Scouts' gratitude.

The Lemon Chalet Creme: I think it's best to let the Girl Scouts themselves explain this cookie: "Featuring a design of Our Chalet in Switzerland, a beloved Girl Scout World Center, this sandwich cookie has a touch of cinnamon-ginger spice that evokes the warmth of a fireside chat on a snowy evening."

The Cinna-spin: this cookie only lasted a season, so I'm betting it's gross. It's a cinnamon flavor cookie that came in 100-calorie packs. Girl Scout Cookies can be appreciated even when you're trying to lose weight! At least they could in 2008.

The Daisy Go Round: I was wrong. You weight-watchers can still enjoy the Cookies of the Girl Scouts. The Daisy Go Round replaced the Cinna-spin for 2009, and they also come in 100-calorie packs. From what I gather, they are the exact same thing as Cinna-spins except they are shaped like daisies rather than cinnamon rolls. Apparently that's a more appealing shape. Or something.

The Sugar Free Chocolate Chip: this cookie makes me happy. I always get a smile when I see something delicious come in a sugar free variety, cause that means my grandpa with diabetes can partake. Guess that comes from a long time ago when I asked him how he could possibly eat strawberries without powdered sugar and then felt really guilty after when I realized the answer. These cookies were also introduced in 2008. They are chocolate-chip cookies that lack sugar. I'm surprised you didn't know that.

The Dulce De Leche: another new cookie for the current season, the Dulce De Leche contain caramel chips and are drizzled in more caramel. They sound delicious and make me wish I had heard about them a month ago when I ordered my cookies. Maybe we could have broken the "just okay" Tagalong cycle. But probably not.

The Lemonade: shaped like a lemon slice, this shortbread cookie is made with a tangy lemon icing. Whether the cookie is covered in the icing or the icing is sandwiched between two cookies I do not know. What I do know is that they should get rid of this unspecified pansy of a cookie and bring back the Lemon Cooler. That one was delicious.

A short list of retired Girl Scout Cookies: this list is by no means all-inclusive, and in fact came from only one website. I don't feel like doing more research.
The Lemon Cooler
The Double Dutch

The Ice Berry PiƱata
The Ole Ole
The Aloha Chip
The Apple Cinnamon
The Lemon Drop
The Striped Chocolate Chip
The Snap
(unrelated to Sunday naps)
The Juliette
The Golden Nut Cluster
The Trail Mix
The Cabana Creme
The Country Hearth Chocolate Chip
The Echo
The Chocolate Chunk
The Pecan Shortee
The Medallion
The Van'cho
The Forget-Me-Not
The Granola

Most of these I do not remember, although a few like the Double Dutch and the Striped Chocolate Chip sound familiar. My point is, I like Girl Scout Cookies, I'm happy I bought some, and I really need to have more to do on a Friday afternoon when my boss is out of town than answer his phone.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

A Lifetime of Fatigue, Part 2

Sunday. A day of rest. I would wager that on this day, an average of nine out of ten LDS American adults will take a nap. The Sunday nap - the Snap - is a staple in many homes, leading sometimes to harsh punishments ranging from cussing out to disembowelment if disturbed. That nine out of ten average included me. Until yesterday...

Yesterday was just a regular Sunday. Lewis had to work, which was a bummer alright, but I survived church (and nursery) alone. After church I came home, as per the general order of things and got my Lord of the Rings on for a little while (TNT was having a marathon - they know drama) and then decided that a Snap was in order. I mean, come on, I had stayed up late the night before, plus I had participated in a mad chase around the chapel when one of our nursery patrons escaped, plus PLUS we had friends coming over that night, which meant we might not get to bed until late, plus plus PLUS I am lazy. So a Snap it was!

An hour and fifteenish minutes later I awoke from my Snap. Let me tell you what, it wasn't easy. It was so warm and cozy and lovely that it took a nearly back-breaking effort to move myself from lying in bed to lying on the couch. The LOTR marathon on TNT had moved on to The Return of the King, so I pulled my laptop over and settled in for some sweet media multi-tasking. But for some reason, I couldn't shake this feeling of fogginess and unkemptery. It's an annoying feeling, one that I have had before. At first I just blew it off thinking, sometimes this is just my mood, no biggie, right? It sucks, but it just comes and then it goes and then it comes back another time. I felt like this just last Sunday. After my... my... my Snap!

My Snap made me feel like crap!

As my thought process continued, I came to understand that it wasn't just crappy Snaps, it was all major naps that gave me this foggy and unkempt feeling. What the freaking heck! Snaps and naps alike are supposed to be refreshing and pleasant, aren't they? Who invited foggy and unkempt? Not me. I hate them.

Good news - there is a small glimmer of hope: not all naps giving me that icky feeling. I've taken pseudo-naps that leave me feeling just fine. These aren't full-on spectacles with the pillows and the drooling. There more like times when I doze off with my head on Lewis' shoulder or leg. But I'm not really quite asleep - I'm still mostly aware of what's going on around me. But the pseudo dealios are still restful and when the fogginess and unkemptery doesn't come from them, I'll take it.

In all honesty, though, I doubt this will keep me from Snapping.
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