Oh Zicam, How I Loathe Thee

As I'm sure you all know, because we've been talking about it for nine months or so, we're going to Disneyland. Like, tomorrow. Well, okay, not until Monday, but still. Really soon. And we're really, really, really excited about it. Really. We've got everything planned out and we even purchased a cool little program to help us maximize our Disneyland experience (details on that program are forthcoming, after we decide if it was worth the $15 or not).

So, naturally, when Lewis started feeling sick the other day, we got a little worried - how would a cold effect our Disneyland experience? We have literally been planning this trip since we got home from our honeymoon. It had better be the bomb-diggity.

Nevertheless, Lewis was sick. Not so sick that he couldn't do anything, but sick enough that he was somewhat miserable. And what's the best way to get rid of a cold? Self-medicating, of course!

Lewis had heard some good things about Zicam, and how it's supposed to minimize symptoms and help you get over colds quicker. When Lewis told me he was going to purchase some, and that I should take some too, just in case, I was all for it. No problem, I thought. I can swallow a pill and be a-okay.

Well, apparently, Zicam doesn't come in pill form. No, no. Zicam comes in the form of nasty strawberry hate chews.

Seriously, those things are gross. They look all innocent and Starburst-like. They even don't smell half bad. You know how sometimes cough syrup smells like wintergreen but then tastes like death? That's what Zicam cold remedy chews are like.

You put one in your mouth and start chewing. The first couple chews are okay, it tastes like a cheap Starburst substitute, that some people give out on Halloween because they didn't buy candy until the last minute and that's all that was left. But then you have to keep chewing. And that's when the gag reflex kicks in, because no one in their right mind would want to swallow the taste that has now overwhelmed their mouth. If people made chalk into a chewy candy, I imagine it would taste like this. Or, if you have ever held a pill like Tylenol on your tongue for a bit before swallowing it, it tastes like this. Except worse. Oh, so much worse. Because Zicam is chewy, it's little chewy nastiness get stuck in your teeth. And lots of saliva is produced that you can't just spit out, no. You have to swallow. And all the while, you have an overwhelming desire to spit the whole lot in the toilet.

The first time you take a Zicam, you think you can now guzzle down a whole pitcher of water to expunge the wretched taste from your palate. But then your husband tells you that you're not allowed to eat or drink anything for fifteen minutes after finishing the chew. And that makes you want to punch Zicam in its little orange face for punishing you further. Why can't you eat or drink anything for fifteen minutes, you ask? Because Zicam is sadistic and hates you.

On their website, Zicam describes this product as a "Cold Remedy Chewable that comes in a delicious strawberry flavor chewable square and shortens the length and severity of the cold." Now, if it truly does that (shortens the length and severity of the cold) and we can have the wicked awesome Disneyland trip we've been saving for for so long, I won't say another word against it. But if it turns out that all this taste bud suffering was for naught, it'll be time to lay the smack down on Zicam. I'm thinking toasting the chews over a fire and then squishing them in the dirt will be sufficient.

Alyssa Does Not Recommend OR What I Learned From MSVGS

Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus. A movie with so much promise. Not promise that it would be good, per se. More like promise that it would be so bad it's good.

But no.

It's just bad.

Bad, bad, bad.

Let's back up for a second. It all started a month or so ago, when we saw a trailer for this intriguing, direct to DVD movie. You can (and should) watch the preview for yourself. I mean, how could we be disappointed? The shark bites a freaking airbus out of the sky! How could this movie not be awesome, albeit awesomely bad?

But like I said. It's just bad. So bad, I'm embarrassed to let people see it and I didn't even make it (sorry, Luke).

The movie appears to be composed solely of stock footage from Planet Earth, green screen scenes, and a handful of digitalized shots of the shark and/or the octopus, used over and over again (sometime flipped to make you think it's a different shot). As for the shark biting the plane out of the sky? I'm pretty sure they just threw a plastic plane and a rubber shark at each other and filmed it. Pathetic.

To be fair, the movie was somewhat educational. Here's what I learned:

1. People with lisps shouldn't swear. It just sounds silly.

2. Referencing something from pop culture will not give your movie more credibility. Especially if what you are referencing is "Thrilla in Manila," because it sounds dumb. I don't care if it involves Muhammad Ali.

3. If you are filming a scene that's supposed to be sunrise or sunset, you should probably make the sky change a little bit, because that's what, you know, happens. If the audience can tell you used a green screen, you're in trouble.

4. Mega is a stupid word, and if I never hear it ever again, I'll be okay with that.

5. If you base your acting ability completely on over the top facial expressions, you're in danger of being in a movie like this. Sorry, Debbie Gibson.

6. Don't ever - EVER! - hire a special effects studio called "Tiny Juggernaut." Really?

7. If you want to be taken seriously as a movie, you should not include the line, "You need to go home and think about what you did."

But what can I expect, really, from the people who brought us "The Terminators," "Transmorphers 2: Fall of Man," "The Day the Earth Stopped," and "Snakes on a Train." And yes, you read all of that right. I bet they have a great market Asia.

Now, what should I rent next? Hmm... "Sunday School Musical" or "30,000 Leagues Under the Sea"?

OCD

SO! I'm done with the semester. I can't tell you how pleased I am. Pleased as punch, really. Right now, I'm sitting in the McKay Building Tec Lab while Lewis studies. He's ignoring me, but for some reason he said I should stay. Some of that quality time married couples always take part of or something. Whatevs.

Anyway, I noticed something today, as I was taking my last exam. First, though, a small sample of background information: I've always been a little obsessive-compulsive. Maybe not enough to call it a disorder, per se, but still. A little.

So back to my exam. It was one of those tests where you're given x number of topics and you're supposed to write everything and anything you know about them. For this particular test, we were given a list of twenty or so topics beforehand, and we got to pick whichever five we wanted to write about. Most people aren't big fans of this method of assessment, but I don't mind it. I seem to do pretty well on it anyway. My biggest problem, however, is remembering the specific names of the people involved in the topic, in this case, the experimenters. To combat this, I took one last look at all the names right before the test started, and then typed them all in at the top of the page (my professor lets us use our laptops for the exams). With the names, I included a word or two indicating which experiment went with each name.

This is what I wrote:
Repacholi and Gopnik - food preferences
Chandler, Fritz, and Hala - deception
Wimmer and Perner: hidden treat
Meltzoff and Moore - neonatal imitation

And so on.

But then I noticed that for Wimmer and Perner, I had used a colon (:) instead of a dash (-). I know what you're thinking. Big whoop! Who cares? Well guess what, you insensitive jerk! I do. I care so much that I had to go back and replace that colon with a dash, even though I was going to freaking delete that whole section of information when I was done with the test. I care so much that I am considering deleting this whole post because I can't stand to see such an incongruity, especially when I know I caused it. I care so much because I'm freaking OC if not D!

That's right, Lewis. You married a crazy.

April Fools Day

I just had an appointment with a first grader. When he saw me, he said, "There's a booger hanging out of your nose. " Since I've been sick, this was entirely plausible, but as I touched my nose to check, he shouted "April fools!" He got me. He got me good.

In other news:

Dear Weather,

I don't know if you noticed, but it's April. Just thought I'd point that out to you, cause judging by the snow and ice I had to remove from my car this morning, you forgot.

Cordially,

Alyssa Young

Sicky Chicky

Fact: I love my internship (most days, anyway). It does have its downsides, though. From my experience, elementary schools are hot spots for all kinds of bacteria. Since I work in close quarters with my students and many of them do not know how to cover their hands when they cough and also like to touch, oh, everything, no matter how much I wash my hands and disinfect my office, I will get sick. And I have. Several times this semester. Most of the sicknesses have not been too bad. I didn't, you know, die or anything.

Another bout of illness kicked in this weekend. Let me tell you what, I hate being sick so, so much. Usually I'll work through it as long as I can, cause I know if I just rest, there will be nothing to distract me from my misery. It's not like I'm trying to be a trooper, I just like distraction. I'm sure it sucks for those around me cause I'm undoubtedly very whiny, not to mention all my sniffs and moans. But today, I just couldn't do it. After I was finished at my internship (which included making an eight-year-old cry. Great day all around) I took note of how very miserable and non-functional I was and took a sick day.

Sick days are the one of the best things about being married. I don't have my mom around to take care of me... but I have Lewis! Not to be cheesy, but he's the best. He takes such good care of me when I'm sick. He made me dinner (mac and cheese) and he did the dishes. So great.

So today, instead of wallowing in misery, or suffering through work (while probably not actually getting much done), I took a day off. I took a nap, I read a book, and now we're enjoying season two of 24 (nobody's crying! Nobody, I say!).

So... that's all. I'm sick, but it's a little bit okay.