Monday, June 29, 2009

The Saga of the Table

This past weekend, most of my immediate family stayed with Lewis and me. To be a gracious hostess, I decided to make breakfast for everyone on Sunday morning. We were up rather late the night before, but we were going to church at nine, so I dragged myself out of bed super early to cook up some waffles and delicious buttermilk syrup.

Our apartment isn't very big, and the kitchen is the second smallest room in the place (second only to the bathroom). Due to this fact, we have rather small kitchen table. Luckily for us, the table came with two leaves, so we could expand it for company. So, while everyone was getting ready for church around us, Lewis and I began to do just that. We successfully pulled the table apart, laid the two leaves in place, and while we were in the process of pushing the whole thing back together... it died. Right there as we were holding it. Instead of sliding shut nicely, the metal runners buckled and the whole thing caved in. Lewis and I just stood there, holding our respective halves, staring at mess the catastrophe created. Table leaves and runners in a mangled heap on the floor. Small bits of the linoleum top strewn about. Lewis, chewing his lip, trying not to swear in front of my parents. And we just stood there. And stared. I don't think I spoke for about ten minutes.

Of all the furniture, the dining table is one of the most essential. And ours just broke.

My dad came and helped us piece the metal runners back together. Was the operation salvageable? We took the leaves out of the equation for a tiny table is better than no table at all. However, as we attempted to recreate the original, the whole thing caved in on itself again. #@$%.

Still not speaking, I finished making breakfast, a process which was complicated greatly by the loss of the table. Not only is the table used for eating, but with a grand total of two very small counters in our Wymount kitchen, the table is also a useful tool for food preparation. But I did it and everyone ate off their laps, except for Evie, who ate off of Cassie's lap.

There was a chance that the table could be fixed, but probably not for very cheap, and not with any of the tools we had then. But we still needed a table. We were going to have a big family dinner later that day, and as much as I adore all of my family members, they are my family members and hence, like me, so we all spill occasionally. And I really like our couch, so... we needed a table to eat from!

Luckily, Lewis' parents came to the rescue and lent us a couple of folding tables. A square one to prepare food on and a longer one to eat off of. Fantastic!

So, the short-term problem was solved, but the long-term one was wide open. We can't keep the folding tables forever. At about 8:30 that night, Lewis and I begin our and craigslist search. We needed something cheap and not ugly, although that criterion was somewhat negotiable.

About twenty minutes into our search, the table was found. 54 inches long, a few scratches, but in otherwise good condition. Came with four, high-backed chairs and a more reliable-looking leaf. Sold.

The only issue was, the table was in Midvale, which is a good forty minute drive, and the selling family is going on vacation today (Monday) and wouldn't be back til Saturday. And it was 9 o'clock at night. But we really needed a table!

The seller was really nice, though, and said, no problem come on up tonight! So we did. And we managed to get not only the table into the car, but also all four of the chairs (we thought we would have to come back for those another time). And now, even though I am exhausted from getting up at 6:30 am yesterday morning and going to bed at 12:30 am last night, we have a table! And it looks nice!

In the end, the whole thing is pretty funny. Our table broke! I was pretty darn furious at the time, though...

Friday, June 26, 2009

The 4.0

It's officially official:

Spring Term 2009
MTHED 305 001 Basic Conc of Math 3.00 A
SFL 335 001 Family Adapt&Resiliency 3.00 A
VAEDU 326 001 Art for Elem Teach 2.00 A
SEM HR ERN 8.00 HR GRD 8.00 GPA 4.00

I am a straight A student. What, what?!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Blessed Email

I love getting email. I really do. Not junk so much, but genuine email that concerns me personally. That being said, there is one email I absolutely dread: the Account Activity Email from BYU. Why does this email suck so much? Because it means I owe somebody at BYU more money.

This unholy email is as follows:

"Dear BYU Student/Employee,

You are receiving this email because you have had recent activity on your BYU financial account.

If you wish to review your account, please login to Route-Y and click on School, 'My Financial Center', and then account summary.


Brigham Young University
Student Financial Services"

Yeah, I bet you are sincere. You sincerely want my money.

I've received this email a lot lately, especially with it being spring and summer terms and all. This email comes when tuition is due... when I fill my prescription... when it's time to pay health insurance... when I borrowed a fifty cent calculator at the testing center... all the time!

So, as far as I knew, it was business as usual yesterday evening when I opened my email inbox and found the Account Activity Email innocently sitting there waiting for me.

"Oh great," I thought. "What do I owe them now?" And then I thought, "No, really, what do I owe them? I thought I had already got this email for everything in my account now..."

Sufficiently curious, I followed the email's instructions and logged into My Financial Center. And saw a negative balance.

What the what?

As it turns out, this dreaded email brought glad tidings on this day. Turns out, instead of taking more money away from me, BYU decided to give some back! That's right, nerds, I am the recipient of a half-tuition scholarship for summer term.

Lewis was sitting next to me throughout the entire exchange with my computer and decided it was in his best interest to check for himself. Sho nuff, he got one too!

The moral of the story is, C's may get degrees, but it really does pay to get A's. Literally.

Friday, June 19, 2009


If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?

Similarly, if a celebrity that I've never heard of does something, does that mean they're famous?

Because, obviously, the world of celebrité revolves around me.

But seriously, who is Selena Gomez? Cause her picture is all over my Facebook ads, and I'm at a loss for who she is.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Alyssa Does Not Recommend OR What I Learned From MSVGS

Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus. A movie with so much promise. Not promise that it would be good, per se. More like promise that it would be so bad it's good.

But no.

It's just bad.

Bad, bad, bad.

Let's back up for a second. It all started a month or so ago, when we saw a trailer for this intriguing, direct to DVD movie. You can (and should) watch the preview for yourself. I mean, how could we be disappointed? The shark bites a freaking airbus out of the sky! How could this movie not be awesome, albeit awesomely bad?

But like I said. It's just bad. So bad, I'm embarrassed to let people see it and I didn't even make it (sorry, Luke).

The movie appears to be composed solely of stock footage from Planet Earth, green screen scenes, and a handful of digitalized shots of the shark and/or the octopus, used over and over again (sometime flipped to make you think it's a different shot). As for the shark biting the plane out of the sky? I'm pretty sure they just threw a plastic plane and a rubber shark at each other and filmed it. Pathetic.

To be fair, the movie was somewhat educational. Here's what I learned:

1. People with lisps shouldn't swear. It just sounds silly.

2. Referencing something from pop culture will not give your movie more credibility. Especially if what you are referencing is "Thrilla in Manila," because it sounds dumb. I don't care if it involves Muhammad Ali.

3. If you are filming a scene that's supposed to be sunrise or sunset, you should probably make the sky change a little bit, because that's what, you know, happens. If the audience can tell you used a green screen, you're in trouble.

4. Mega is a stupid word, and if I never hear it ever again, I'll be okay with that.

5. If you base your acting ability completely on over the top facial expressions, you're in danger of being in a movie like this. Sorry, Debbie Gibson.

6. Don't ever - EVER! - hire a special effects studio called "Tiny Juggernaut." Really?

7. If you want to be taken seriously as a movie, you should not include the line, "You need to go home and think about what you did."

But what can I expect, really, from the people who brought us "The Terminators," "Transmorphers 2: Fall of Man," "The Day the Earth Stopped," and "Snakes on a Train." And yes, you read all of that right. I bet they have a great market Asia.

Now, what should I rent next? Hmm... "Sunday School Musical" or "30,000 Leagues Under the Sea"?

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Thunder From Down Under

It started on Friday night. It was late, and we were really tired, and we decided to go to bed like normal people. As I was washing my face, however, an earsplitting boom sounded, shaking the whole apartment. Thunder. Lewis was in the bedroom and saw the flash. And then the heavens opened and the rains came tumbling down (the floods, however, did not come up).

Now, as I'm sure you are aware, at least if you've been in Utah for the month of June, or read my blog on June 5th, it's been a wet one. Clouds and rain every day. But not rain, really. Just drizzle. I've been waiting for that day when the cats and the dogs descended from the sky, but nothing. No dice. Until now. Eleven o'clock on a Friday night when Lewis has work in the morning.

So, like the responsible people we are, we ignored the blessed rain, I finished washing my face, and we got into bed.

Yeah, right.

No, we put on some waterproof pants and our ski jackets and took a walk. It was glorious. Lewis got some Gore-Tex pants on Ebay a while back, but he never got the chance to test them out and see how waterproof they really are. He got his chance on this night when he sat in a gutter. And you know what? The pants worked! His bum was completely dry. Word, yo.

Truth time: I am the champion of summer. All things summer are at the top of my list of favorite things to do. Hiking. Camping. Swimming. Playing catch. And how much of that do you think I've been able to do in this weather? We haven't gone on a hike in ages! I will praise the day that the sun pokes her shiny little head out from between the clouds for an extended period of time.

And yet, I can't help but enjoy in when it pours. The mostly drizzle we've been having, I can do without. But thunder and lightening and fat drops slapping on the pavement are things that I just love!

Yesterday, as I was leaving the Home Depot after bringing Lewis his lunch, it started pouring in the way that I like again. It was stormy throughout my whole trip home. When I pulled into our parking spot, I stayed in the car for a little while, lying on my back watching the rain hit the sun roof. It was bliss. There was something very comforting about just lying there in the weather but not really. The only way it could have been better was if Lewis was there with me. After a bit, I got out of the car and ran around Wymount until the rain let up. Another of my favorite things.

The moral of the story is, rain - you're sometimes okay. But if you could be gone by this Thursday, that would be great. We're going camping.

Although something about camping in the rain sounds like fun.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Let Me Hit You With Some Knowledge

Fact: it has been rainy and gloomy and looks like not a desert outside.

Fact: there were lots of puddles and snails and worms on the ground this morning.

Fact: my shoes have holes.

Fact: I didn't discover that my shoes have holes until this morning, amidst all the puddles and snails and worms on the ground.

Fact: squishy socks suck.

In other news, I'm only slightly freaking out because I don't have math homework for the first time since April 28th, and I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself. It's like that gnawing feeling you get when you know you forgot to do something, but you can't for the life of you figure it out. I dislike that feeling greatly.

This semester went by really quickly.

And I've probably never enjoyed a semester more.

What was I thinking, you know, before? I've found myself wondering that more and more. I mean, I've spent five ridiculous years in college, getting close to finishing my degree only to practically start over with a new one. I can't say that I've made bad choices, because I felt really secure with the choices I made, when I made them. But now they seem... pointless.

Maybe I'm just scared to leave school. So maybe becoming a teacher is a really good decision, cause then I'll never have to.

Unless I suck.

I might.

Woooo, what a downer! My apologies, amigos.

As a thank you for plowing through the mundane thoughts that I've thrust upon you, here's a little gem from an amusing story, from

"Orem police got a call that a woman was chasing a man outside with a baseball bat near 1200 North 900 West. It turned out the call was true."

If you'd like to read the whole story (and you should, it's a great one), go here. Apparently, the man was smoking near the woman's children, and she did not like that, not one bit. I believe this story happened like in cartoons with a pleasantly plump woman in an apron chasing a crocodile out of her house, or possibly baby nursery, whacking it with a broom. Except you replace the broom with a bat and the crocodile with a man. Beautiful.

Of course, none of this matters, really. The only thing that matters is the fact that we're only ten clicks away from Disneyland, Lewis.


Saturday, June 6, 2009

Pimping My Crib

It started on Thursday night. It was late, and we were really tired, but instead of going to bed like normal people, Lewis and I decided to move around the furniture in our bedroom. As we shifted things around, we got to talking about how we could make our whole apartment more appealing. And that's how the chain reaction began.


...went through many of our belongings and filled up several large boxes to take to DI

...reorganized our closets and second bedroom

...moved our dresser into our second bedroom

...bought a giant mirror to hang in our bedroom

...bought a 2x4 and cut it into 8 1x1s

...grabbed some oops paint from Home Depot and had one of Lew's co-workers change the colors to brown and green to match our bedroom colors

...painted the 1x1s brown and green

We will...

...switch around our living room so you see our super-sweet couch when you walk in, rather then the TV

...hang the 1x1s in a checkered pattern above our bed, so it kind of looks like a headboard

...hang the mirror up

...paint our kitchen chairs (maybe)

...keep on improving our apartment. Errybody will be jealous of it.

I would post some before and after pictures, but the before pictures will all be blank walls and messy areas, so that would be silly. I still might post some after photos, though. Who knows, really? Pretty much, though, it's going to be the hottest spot on the block. Well, the hottest spot at Wymount, anyway. If only they would let us paint our walls...

Post script: when we were cleaning off our nightstand, we found a crisp 20 dollar bill (quite crisp, really). Basically, it was the best feeling in the world, especially since we just paid a bunch o' bills.

Friday, June 5, 2009

T-storm, Holla!

It's been partly to mostly cloudy all week and the weather forecast has been telling me that we should be getting scattered thunderstorms all day. How awesome would it be to get a thunderstorm a la Virgnia? With the crackling lightening and the booming thunder and the absolutely pouring rain with big, fat drops? I would LOVE that!

Can I get an amen?
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