The Disney Problem... And Solution!

We're planning a trip to Disneyland for this coming October. Yes, another one. This time though, we are hoping to go with all of Lewis' family. Should be fun!

Saturday last, as we were all gathered at the casa de los Youngs (as opposed to the apartamento de los otros Youngs) (where I live), we were discussing details of the trip. Sammie, my delightful niece, mentioned how lame the Peter Pan ride was. She described how boring it was to just go up like a foot and ride around for a minute or two and then go back down. No fun at all.

As she was describing this, I just stared at her with a look of shock and awe on my face. I couldn't believe that anyone would think the Peter Pan ride as "lame" or "boring" or "stupid." So I told her she had no sense of nostalgia.

And that's when it hit me. She probably doesn't have any nostalgia towards that movie! Me, I grew up on that movie and other movies like it. That's why I love Peter Pan's Flight and Snow White's Scary Adventure and Pinocchio's Daring Journey. They're not thrill rides, they are rides about movies. Movies that I have loved since I was a wee one. That's what Disneyland is all about. Sure, you do have thrill rides like Indiana Jones or Space Mountain or most everything over in California Adventure. But Disney is not just about thrills. They create an attention to detail experience with the characters that the world adores.

But for how long? How long will love for movies like Snow White or Peter Pan be enough? We live in a world where many of the young people have not even had the chance to see these beloved films. The advent of DVDs are partially to blame for this; families who own VHS copies of the movies rarely pull them for their kids. VCRs are obsolete! True, you can find many Disney Animated Features on DVD, but only once every seven to ten years when they come out of the Disney vault. But will that even be a viable marketing campaign in the future when primary DVD purchasers haven't seen the movies in the first place?

To prevent this (love for cherished characters dying off due to lack of movie viewership) from happening, the Imagineers at Disneyland have (possibly inadvertently) developed some solutions. One is to replace old rides/attractions with updates from more recent films. Case in point, the Swiss Family Treehouse was replaced by Tarzan's Treehouse in 1999. But that practice makes a part of me really sad. I mean, it's good to make updates and to continue to expand and whatever. I'm all for brand new rides and replacing stuff that was no good in the first place. But where is the line? How far can that be taken? Will Snow White be replaced by an attraction from a more recent movie? Can you replace Snow White? Is that what Walt Disney would have wanted? I don't know about you, but I would not want a cryogenically frozen Walter Elias Disney after my neck. You've been warned, Imagineers.

I'm getting carried away. There is still an abundance of classic Disney in Disneyland and there are no current plans to alter that.

A second solution would be to create more rides from interesting characters/stories developed specifically for the park. Sometimes the movie comes later like with Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion, but the rides were still there first. I am okay with this as it gives Disneyland a personal stake in people's nostalgia. They have nostalgia for the rides alone, and not necessarily in concert with a movie attached to them. Which definitely makes me keep going back for more!

Neither solution is perfect of course. For example, instead of replacing the old with the new, why doesn't Disneyland just keep adding rides? I don't think anyone would complain about a bigger Disneyland. And if you do, you have no heart. Or soul.

The fact of the matter is today's generation of youths is missing out on a series of classic movies that their parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents grew up on. So here's what I think Disney should do. A few months before they release their movies from that mysterious vault they're always talking about, they should also play them in movie theaters around the country for a limited engagement. That way, parents can take their kids to see for themselves the magic of these animated features, and understand why Peter Pan's Flight really is a great ride. Plus the rest of us would have an excuse to go see the movies from our childhood that we haven't seen since. Disney can do this. They've done it before! I know because my parents wouldn't let me go see Jurassic Park with my older siblings when it was first in theaters and they took me to Snow White instead.

The cynic in me says that this quest would be futile. Most children would probably go into the movies with sky-high expectations and would come out saying it was "lame" or "boring" or "stupid." Psh. Kids these days!

Extra-Strength Awesome: 2009

Well, it's a new year. A new decade, in fact. 2009 ended in a whirl wind and 2010 has gotten into full swing, particularly with the new semester. Ugh, the new semester. I'm so over school. Although, to be fair, I really did enjoy my classes last semester, and it looks like I'll be enjoying them this semester too. It helps that I got straight A's. Well, okay. Straight A's and one A-. Boo freaking hoo.

Anyway, I was reflecting on all that happened over the past year and it made me think of what I would write if Lewis and I sent out an end-of-year letter like you know how some people do. Of course I would mention our accomplishments such as making it through a whole year of marriage together (and doing so quite successfully, if I might add) or me completing my internship. I would like to say that I graduated like I was supposed to, but I'm happy with how things turned out. True, a whole other year of school wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but so far getting my teaching certificate has been something I've enjoyed. And I feel safe in school. Sounds silly, but just try to see if I care. I like it.

Lewis was busy this year in school as well. He finished absolutely everything except for his student teaching, which he just started yesterday. Oh, and a religion class. But such is the life of a future BYU grad.

Speaking of the future, and graduating, Lewis and I will both graduate this April. Even though I'm graduating with a degree in marriage, family, and human development, I'm going to walk with the education peeps so family members can be there for both of our graduations. Of course, two days after graduation, I will be back in school finishing up the last few classes for my teaching certificate. Then Lewis will start his first year of teaching and I will start my teaching internship (hopefully) in September. Basically, 2010 looks pretty darn bright and sunny from here.

Wow, we sound like nerds with all this education talk! We had lots of fun besides school in 2009 too. We spent several weekends up in Park City at Lewis' parents' condo. It's very cozy and nice up there, so we love spending time there. It's not a very far drive to get away for the weekend or something like that. Other traveling escapades included a trip to Idaho to spend Easter with the Hirschis, another (very brief) trip to Idaho for the Hirschi family reunion, and an absolutely fantastic journey to Disneyland where we celebrated our first anniversary. Plus, during the summer, my family came to visit so we got to spend a lot of time with them, and they even survived the shenanigans that come with staying in our tiny apartment (such as when the kitchen table caves in on itself just in time for Sunday morning breakfast).

Overall, we found ourselves very blessed in the year that was 2009. We are very happy together and we have two wonderful families that have our backs no matter what. I couldn't be luckier.

So like I said, I would probably write something like that if I wrote an end-of-year letter. It would probably be more interesting if we had kids and/or I didn't send out a weekly letter to family members/blog. Plus it would probably just sound braggy cause my life is so awesome. I'm a fan of it, anyway.

The Eleventh Day of Christmas

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

11 slamm-ed tim tams
10 cups of ketchup
9 hours of daylight
8 Christmas carols
7 guns a-shooting
6 Lewis kisses
5 bags of wings!
4 calling phones
3 final tests
2 Praxis scores
And a mid-Atlantic winter snow storm


Ever had a tim tam? Ever slammed a tim tam? Well, you should. It's absolutely delicious. Tim tams are a cookie that are popular in other places, but only recently made it across the Pacific pond to the United States, courtesy of Pepperidge Farm. Lewis enjoyed tim tams all the time on his mission.

The official tim tam slam involves a hot liquid such as hot chocolate. While I'm sure that would be very tasty, my only tim tam slamming experience involves 1% milk. What you do is you bite off one corner and then bite off the opposite corner and suck up the milk through the cookie like a straw. Or, if you're like Dallas, you can just eat the cookies "straight."

Conveniently enough, Pepperidge Farm packages tim tams in groups of eleven. Normally, this would be something that would annoy me. I tend to prefer numbers when it comes to prepackaged foods. But not today. Today, I thank you Pepperidge Farm. When I started the twelve days endeavor, I figured eleven would be my most challenging day.

Happy Christmas Eve Eve!

The Thrilling Conclusion

Remember the cab driver who tried to stiff us? And then I thought he had gotten a hot, stinking plate of karma stuck under his nose? And then it turns out he did stiff us?

Well, when we discovered the $87 charge, Lewis called the bank who told him to call the cab company and record the conversation if he could. The cab company was really nice and told him that they would investigate the allegation (is that too strong of a word) and give the cab driver a chance to come in and tell his side of the story and then they would get back to us. Well, it's been almost 3 weeks since Lewis talked to them, and we were wondering if we were ever going to hear from them again.

But then yesterday, a check for $42 came in the mail, along with a letter that said:

"Dear Mr. Young;

Than you for letting us know about the problem you experienced. This is how we know that problems exist. It gives us a chance to take steps to correct them and improve the quality of service to our customers. I apologize for the problem you experienced on August 17, 2009. I am mailing you a money order for $42.45.

We look forward to the opportunity to provide service for you in the future.

Sincerely,

Joyce Last Name"

I was touched, really. Especially since the cab driver did give us $20 back in cash when we told him that he had charged us too much in the first place. So that means we paid only $25 for the ride! Boo-ya. (I did feel a little bad about that for a minute, but then I thought about the whole debacle and I stopped. Feeling bad, that is.)

Lewis got really excited for a minute when he looked at the money order because he thought it was signed by the actual cab driver and that made him laugh. But then I looked at the signature and said I thought I said "Joyce" (I hadn't read the letter yet). Lewis said, "Oh. That makes more sense."

In other news, it's the first home game of the season today! Rise and shout, Cougar fans!

I Spoke Too Soon

It looks like I jumped to conclusions. Yesterday we checked our bank statement and discovered that $87 had been taken out of our account from the Long Beach Yellow Cab Company. Where the number 87 came from is beyond me. Alls I know is that I am beyond angry about it. Frankly, I'm appalled at how dishonest that little twerp of a taxi driver is. Appalled!

Lewis is working with the bank and the cab company so we can get our money back. Hopefully it'll all work out. Cause for reals, yo. I'm really, really mad.

In other news, we figured out what that mysterious seven dollar charge was, that I had previously attributed to the taxi ride. We got a locker for our stuff on our first day at Disneyland and I didn't write down the charge because I was just keeping track of our food budget. My bad! It was a great moment when I solved the mystery of the seven dollar charge, though. I was ready to run out of the shower, soaking wet and with my hair all shampoo-y to tell Lewis because I was so excited. But then I listened to the reasonable side of my brain.

But seriously! What a jerk of a cab driver. He may have made me lose my hope in humanity for his dishonesty. Okay, not really, but still. I hate to say this but I kind of hope he loses his job over this. Maybe I didn't mean that. Maybe I did, but I would feel a little, tiny bit guilty if that actually happens. More'n likely we'll just be out the money he charged us. For now, I'm just sending bad karma vibes his way. Or angry thoughts anyway. Gosh!

Karma

You may be surprised to find out that we ended up with a surplus after our Disneyland trip. We decided that the best thing to do would be to keep the surplus where it is and start saving for our next grand adventure - wherever that may be. True, it helped that Nancy from Cleveland, Ohio saved us $60, but we actually ended up with a surplus larger than $60. The rest of the surplus came from our food budget and potentially from our transportation budget. Allow me to explain.

As I mentioned in my previous post, our taxi driver tried to stiff us. And, if you recall, I said that the charge for $72 has not gone through yet. Well, last night, we were balancing our checkbook from the trip, and marking off all the charges that had gone through. Everything was checked off the list except for the cab ride, but there was also an unknown charge for $7. All we could tell from the charge was that it came from somewhere in Anaheim and was paid on Monday, August 17th. We googled the name on the description, but nothing came up.

I got just the teeniest bit worried about it because what if someone had stolen our credit card? But then I thought about how absurd that thought was. We were both still in possession of our cards, and I suppose someone could have gotten a hold of the number, but, really, who steals a credit card to spend seven dollars? I mean, if you are hurting that bad for seven bucks, I'll give you seven bucks.

So we called the bank, thinking that maybe they would have more information on who exactly charged our card. They didn't, but they did tell us that the charge went through at 10:54 Utah time, which would be 9:54 California time, which was right about the time we paid the taxi driver.

Intrigue!

I guess that's the best answer we have right now. The cab driver meant to charge us $72, but he only charged us $7, which means we actually made $13 from the transaction because he gave us $20 back in change. I hope that's what happened. It would serve him right for trying to stiff us.

The bank also told us that there are some extra hoops people have to jump through when they try to charge a card more than a week after the card has been swiped, so we'll know if he tries to charge us the full amount. Just in case, though, we'll be sure to always keep at least $72 in that account.

In any case, don't you just love it when karma works in your favor?

Disneyland 2009 - the Good, the Great, and the Ugly

As you all know, no doubt, we just got back from our anniversary celebration at Disneyland. In a word, it was awesome. In several words, here are the highlights and the lowlights:

Highlights -

*Nancy, the lady at the ticket booth from Cleveland, Ohio got us a great deal on our tickets. We got two-day passes from Lew's parents' credit card reward points and we wanted to upgrade them to four-day passes. Well, Nancy pulled some strings, saved us sixty bucks, and gave us a Magic Morning (meaning we could get into the park an hour before it opens officially on one of the days).

*Pirates of the Caribbean was the very first ride we went on and it just may be my favorite of all the rides. I love me some pirates.
*Minnie Mouse ears for me and a backwards Pluto hat for Lewis.*The fact that fastpasses can be used any time after it says to use them is not understood by many people, but is understood by Lewis and me.
*We met several really neat people while we were in line including
-Blake, a little kid going on the Indiana Jones ride by himself, while his parents waited at the exit. We rode in the same car as him and Lewis screamed the whole time. After we got off the ride, Blake informed Lewis that he shouldn't do that next time because "you spooked me!"
-A Canadian family that was comprised of some of the most polite people I've ever met. We were surprised when they told us they were from Canada because they had Indian accents/looked like they were from India. But I've never been to Canada.
-A group of little kids that rode the Grizzly River Run with us. Our boat was so light, we just spun in circles the whole ride.
-A UCLA fan who we joked with about the "schlacking" BYU gave UCLA at the football game last year. His words, not mine.
-The little girl in front of us on Star Tours who asked her parents if it was really just a movie. They said yes, but then she asked, rather fearfully, "then why are there seat belts?" Apparently, she had just ridden, and was less than pleased with, the Tower of Terror.
-TONS of BYU fans. We're everywhere you want to be.

*We went to Mickey's house. And only stood in a five minute line to meet him. And we got a picture with him. And an autograph. And then Lewis did an impression of him and he got mad and gave Lewis a surprisingly dirty look considering his face can't change expressions so well. But then he forgave Lewis when he told him it was our anniversary. Then Mickey gave me a hug and all was well.
*Most of the cast members we passed wished us a happy anniversary (we were given buttons to wear, so they knew). If they could, they asked how many years we were celebrating. After we told one cast member that it was our first anniversary he snorted and said, "For our first anniversary, my wife and I went to In-N-Out Burger."

*The happiest (and tastiest!) corn dogs on earth. Also, a really good caramel apple with white chocolate and cinnamon.*Fantasmic and fireworks. 'Nuff said.

*Riding Splash Mountain seven times and riding Indiana Jones at least that many times. Have I mentioned that I love fastpass?
*Paying attention to the Ridemax tip that told us to hover by the Magic Morning entrance (on the day we didn't use it) (Magic Morning is only on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays) because it changes over to a regular entrance at 8 o'clock. Best. Advice. Ever. We showed up at 7:57 and the lines to get into the park stretched almost all the way over to California Adventure, but we were first in line and hence got on Space Mountain at 8:06.*Our hotel was less than a quarter mile from the main entrance. We went home every day and took a two hour nap, no problem.

*Jedi Training Academy. Just for Lewis.*We stood in the single rider line for Toy Story and then got to ride it together anyway. Thank you to the nice lady in front of us who let us go ahead when they were looking for two single riders.
*Also, Toy Story Midway Mania is a freaking sweet ride.

*Getting stuck on the Indiana Jones ride right at the end and then getting to ride it all over again without getting off.
*Getting a private cruise around the world on It's A Small World. When the cast member said she was letting us go by ourselves, I thought she meant we would be getting our own row on the boat. But no, we got our own boat cause it was our anniversary. Less awesome was the fact that they started adding more boats throughout the ride while we were on it. Imagine seeing the boat in front of you, full of happy and laughing people one second and then the next second the boat in front of you is empty and so is the one behind you. Where did all the people go? Are we next?
*Did I tell you that we met Mickey? Because we did.

*We saw these two people.

*Finding hidden Mickeys on all the rides and all over that park. That was fun.

*Getting to ride in the ONLY boat in the Jungle Cruise that has a hidden Mickey in the first place.

*We rode Autopia the only time that it's not lame - right at 8 o'clock, before the line grows to ridiculous.
*We rode all but four rides in Disneyland (not including California Adventure, because we didn't care about a lot of the rides there): Mad Hatter's Tea Party, Astro Orbiters, Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin, and Gadget's Go Coaster. The only one of those we even considered riding was the Astro Orbiters, so we're good.

*Peter Pan was the last ride we rode. This is especially cool because it was the first ride we rode last year when we came with Daniel, Mary, and Becca. And the next time we go to Disneyland it'll probably be A). a long time from now and 2). when we have kids, so it won't be the same. Peter Pan opened and closed an era, really. Unless we go next year with all the Youngs. In that case, never mind. Maybe we'll ride it last then too.

As we all know, there is opposition in all things, even in Disneyland. The lowlights -

*Our cab driver from the airport to our hotel tried to stiff us. He (and the guy assigning people to taxis) told us that it was a flat rate of $45 to get from the airport to Disneyland. Also, there was a sign in his car, located right in front of my face that said that same thing. And then we got there and he ran our card for the $72 racked up on the meter. When we cried foul, he tried to tell us that the flat rate was for cash only. We told him, no, that's not what the guy at the airport said and that there was a sign right there that said different. He acted all confused like and then asked if it was okay to give us cash back as a refund. And then he had the nerve to ask us how much we wanted to give him as a tip! I was about to tell him zero dollars, but we really wanted to get in the park so the jerk ended up getting a $7 tip cause he "only had a 20". Yeah, right. However, the $72 charge has yet to go through, so maybe he did that wrong and it'll never go through. Would serve him right, the scammer.

*Zicam did me nothing! I got the cold on Monday and was technically sick all week. I didn't let it hold me back, though. I mean, it wasn't that bad of a cold, but that freaking Zicam was worthless. Don't worry, I'll be getting the best of Zicam yet.

*We thought we got away from EFY by leaving BYU. But then an enormous group of EFY counselors showed up at the park together, doing the same cheers as they did back in Provo. What the what?

*It was the first week that annual passholders could use their annual passes, so the park was filled to the brim. I shouldn't complain too much about that, though. We never stood in a line longer than 40 minutes, and only one that was that long. It was Toy Story, if you're wondering, but not the single rider line.
*A lady ran over my pinky toe with her stroller.

*I dropped my bag on Lewis' foot on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, but he got me back by raising his arms right before we went around a sharp corner and thus sliding into me and squishing me against the cart wall. Touche.

*The Blue Bayou stopped serving key lime pie. Their key lime pie was the only reason we even went to the Blue Bayou! Also, I learned that I don't like creme brulee.

*We had to leave.

When all is said and done, I don't really have much to complain about. It was a ridiculously awesome, fantastic - nay, fantasmic! - trip that we will remember forever and tell our kids about when we can't afford to take them to the park, just to rub it in. I'm sure there were even more great things that happened on the trip, but this is a mighty satisfaction list, isn't it?

Oh Zicam, How I Loathe Thee

As I'm sure you all know, because we've been talking about it for nine months or so, we're going to Disneyland. Like, tomorrow. Well, okay, not until Monday, but still. Really soon. And we're really, really, really excited about it. Really. We've got everything planned out and we even purchased a cool little program to help us maximize our Disneyland experience (details on that program are forthcoming, after we decide if it was worth the $15 or not).

So, naturally, when Lewis started feeling sick the other day, we got a little worried - how would a cold effect our Disneyland experience? We have literally been planning this trip since we got home from our honeymoon. It had better be the bomb-diggity.

Nevertheless, Lewis was sick. Not so sick that he couldn't do anything, but sick enough that he was somewhat miserable. And what's the best way to get rid of a cold? Self-medicating, of course!

Lewis had heard some good things about Zicam, and how it's supposed to minimize symptoms and help you get over colds quicker. When Lewis told me he was going to purchase some, and that I should take some too, just in case, I was all for it. No problem, I thought. I can swallow a pill and be a-okay.

Well, apparently, Zicam doesn't come in pill form. No, no. Zicam comes in the form of nasty strawberry hate chews.

Seriously, those things are gross. They look all innocent and Starburst-like. They even don't smell half bad. You know how sometimes cough syrup smells like wintergreen but then tastes like death? That's what Zicam cold remedy chews are like.

You put one in your mouth and start chewing. The first couple chews are okay, it tastes like a cheap Starburst substitute, that some people give out on Halloween because they didn't buy candy until the last minute and that's all that was left. But then you have to keep chewing. And that's when the gag reflex kicks in, because no one in their right mind would want to swallow the taste that has now overwhelmed their mouth. If people made chalk into a chewy candy, I imagine it would taste like this. Or, if you have ever held a pill like Tylenol on your tongue for a bit before swallowing it, it tastes like this. Except worse. Oh, so much worse. Because Zicam is chewy, it's little chewy nastiness get stuck in your teeth. And lots of saliva is produced that you can't just spit out, no. You have to swallow. And all the while, you have an overwhelming desire to spit the whole lot in the toilet.

The first time you take a Zicam, you think you can now guzzle down a whole pitcher of water to expunge the wretched taste from your palate. But then your husband tells you that you're not allowed to eat or drink anything for fifteen minutes after finishing the chew. And that makes you want to punch Zicam in its little orange face for punishing you further. Why can't you eat or drink anything for fifteen minutes, you ask? Because Zicam is sadistic and hates you.

On their website, Zicam describes this product as a "Cold Remedy Chewable that comes in a delicious strawberry flavor chewable square and shortens the length and severity of the cold." Now, if it truly does that (shortens the length and severity of the cold) and we can have the wicked awesome Disneyland trip we've been saving for for so long, I won't say another word against it. But if it turns out that all this taste bud suffering was for naught, it'll be time to lay the smack down on Zicam. I'm thinking toasting the chews over a fire and then squishing them in the dirt will be sufficient.

Mean Monkey

Check out pictures from our super sweet trip to the zoo!

You really should, cause, uhh...this monkey be watching you.

A Scintillating Conversation

As she does most Sunday mornings, my mom called. After engaging in a pleasant conversation with her and then with my dad, I asked to talk to my little brother, Joseph. Joseph has his hands in a lot of cookie jars right now, including, but not limited to, piano, Taekwondo, choir, and art. I know what you're thinking. Joseph is awesome.

Anyway, as our conversation progressed, the topic turned to Taekwondo. Joseph twisted his ankle the day before his test to become a blue belt. But, like a real trooper, he pressed forward and passed the test with flying colors. I asked him if he was going to keep going to get his black belt, he said, "No. My mom said I could quit after I got my blue belt. I'm only doing it so I can beat the crap out of [insert name of Joseph's mortal enemy]."

Well, as long as his motives are pure.

I then asked if he was going to take on Lewis when he came out here for a visit. Our conversation went something like this (Lewis was beside me, telling me some of the things to say):

Me: So are you going to try and beat the crap out of Lewis when you come visit us?

Joseph: Yeah.

Me: Are you sure? Lewis is a black belt.

Joseph: Well I already beat a black belt.

Me: But Lewis is also a ninja. A black belt ninja.

Joseph: That's not true. Ninja's don't have belts.

Me: How do you know?

Joseph: I've seen a ninja in real life.

Me: Of course you did, at our wedding! It was Lewis.

Joseph: No, it wasn't Lewis! I saw a real ninja and he wasn't wearing a belt. I also played a ninja video game.

Me: Yeah! That game was based off of Lewis!

Joseph: No it's not. Lewis is not a turtle. Or a rat.

Me: Okay, that's true. Lewis is not a turtle or a rat.

Joseph: I wish he was a rat.

Me: Why?

Joseph: Then I could kill him.

In short, Lewis had better watch his back.

Things I Learned at Lagoon

1. Disney has not yet noticed that Lagoon ripped off one of the lines from Pirates of the Caribbean for their Terroride.
2. If you are bleeding from the head profusely, you should sit down.
3. Teenage girls who leave the line right before getting on the free fall Rocket ride will be made fun of by complete strangers.
4. Funnel cake doesn't really change its shape during digestion. Just its color and viscosity.
5. I don't care if Kanye and Paris wear them. Shutter shades are stupid.
6. When you go to check out the pair of tigers Lagoon has in a cage for your viewing pleasure, they roar at each other in a menacing fashion, and almost get into a real cat fight, you will worry when you come back and they are gone.
7. The first aid station gives out band aids with Taz on them.
8. Lagoon really ought to properly train their employees on the credit card machine before leaving them to man the ice cream shoppe on their own.
9. If you are dumb enough to go on the Rattlesnake Rapids in 40 degree weather, you deserve to be shot by a 25 cent water pistol. Lagoon should understand this and make sure their 25 cent water pistols are in good repair.
10. It's rather pathetic when your hands are so cold that you turn mood rings and necklaces black. I could only get my old mood necklace to go black when I put it in the freezer.

Snow Day

Tuesday night Lewis and I enjoyed each other's company listening to the pouring rain with the window open. It was delightful! And also quite relaxing.

Wednesday morning we continued to enjoy the rain as we lay in bed well past the time we should get up.

Wednesday afternoon the rain turned into wet, sticky snow.

Wednesday evening we went over to Lewis' parents' house to watch Flash Gordon with his brother. Throughout the duration of the movie, the snow continued to fall and began to accumulate quite rapidly. By the time we left to go home, the roads were so bad we decided to turn around and go back.

Wednesday night we slept at Lewis' parents' house.

Thursday morning we woke up to a foot of snow on the ground.

Thursday is today, April 16th. Almost a month after the spring equinox.

Whiskey. Tango. Hotel?

Okay, Weather. Fine. You win. Over the past few months I've been trying to tell you how you should behave, only to be met with steadily worsening conditions. Clearly you've been trying to prove a point. I mean, how dare I tell you how to go about your business? It's not my place. I should be bowing down to your magnanimous power, not sticking my nose in where it doesn't belong. I get it now. I've learned my lesson. You win, Weather. You win. Touché.

For my readers' delight, here are some pictures from this morning, taken by my cell phone:

My in-laws' deck at 0700 hours.


The tree in their front yard. Lots of snow and
blossomed trees do not a good combination make.

See those little bits of yellow poking through?
Probably not. This is where my father-in-law
planted his now poor, frozen daffodils.

A slightly more fortunate tree across the street.

And for my own delight, here's an absolutely charming picture of Lewis:

After taking out his contact lenses for the night and
subsequently becoming blind, Lewis discovered that
his dad's eye prescription is quite similar to his own.

In other news, does anyone else find it heartily hilarious that the one day of the school year that could qualify as a snow day under Provo School District standards (a foot after midnight) happened during spring break?

A Few Words on Bicycles

For starters, let it be known that I am pro-bike. I love 'em. I wish I could ride one more often because, truly, they're awesome. What a great way to travel. You get exercise and a good feeling for not further polluting this good earth further, all in one. It's a twofer. Really. I mean it.

That being said, I feel the need to call all the bike riders of the world or perhaps just Provo to submit to them this formal request:

To the bike riders of the world or perhaps just Provo, hark. The time has come to choose. Are you a pedestrian or a car? You don't need to make one decision that everyone has to stick with. Rather, each of you can make the choice for him- or herself: pedestrian or car? But once you have made that decision, you gotta commit. None of this namby-pamby, I'm a car until there's a red light, then oh snap, JK, I'm a pedestrian, I'm a pedestrian! I don't care which one you each pick. Just one or the other. Cause, seriously? Your ticking me off. Like whoa. It's time to get off the fence.

That's all.

My Next Next Vacation

For our next big vacation, Lewis and I are going to Disneyland! Wooooo!!!! I'm really excited!!!!! Yay! Okay.

During my surfage of the introwebs, I came across this:


Yeah, that's a freaking hotel room! And it's camouflaged! The concept is simple, one that's been used for years. The unit is covered in reflective material, so it looks like it's a part of nature, cause it reflects the trees around them. Many high-rise skyscrapers in big cities employ the same trick, so they wouldn't look like such eyesores. Except for the fact that all they reflect is other skyscrapers, so the part about reflecting nature is kinda moot, but you get the idea.

But this one is actually in nature! Not only that, but it's in Swedish nature! (I think. It was designed by Swedish architects anyway, but the article didn't say where the hotel is actually located.

Yes, there are a few problems. But look at it! Worth it? I think so!

So, if Disneyland is our next vacation, I vote that this should be our next next vacation. Okay, maybe next next next next, after Thailand and Kenya.

And if not that one, any of these will do. Especially numbers 2 or 6. Technically none of those are hotels, but I'm sure we could charm the owners into making an inexpensive exception.

Let it Snow...Okay That's Enough...No, Really, I Have To Drive in This...

Since I've known Lewis, I've come across many handy tidbits that I didn't know about before. Take for example, Central Bank time and temp. You call some number and a friendly male voice will give you the current time according to the US Naval Observatory's atomic clock (so you know it's correct. They gotsta keep up on their credentials) and the current temperature. And then he announces Provo's only official forecast and a friendly female voice lays it out for you right there on the phone. It's delightful! Since this discovery, time and temp has become a dear friend, making sure I always have the most up-to-date reading of the temporal and weather situations.

Except when they're DEAD WRONG!

On Sunday night at about 8 PM, Lewis and I left his parents house to head home for the evening. The misery of that bitterly cold day (we're talking 9 degrees) was somewhat lightened by the fact that it had just started snowing. Snow can have that effect. It can somehow make everything softer and nicer. However, since we were starting school again the next day, we wanted to find out how much snow to expect so we could plan accordingly for travel purposes. So we called those friendly male and female voices to give us the current time and temp, and also Provo's only official forecast. We were told by that voice that we trust oh-so-much to expect an inch. If that. So that's what we expected.

Monday morning we woke up to this inch. And several of its inchy friends. Great. That'll make driving fun. But at least it wasn't snowing anymore. Lewis decided to give time and temp another chance. Sure, they were wrong the night before, but maybe they just decided to prank us. That's what friends do, right? Just a prank, no one understands that better than us, we still love you and trust you. I mean, an apology would have been nice, it's true, but we're not going to write you off for a tiny joke.

So Lewis called and Provo's only official forecast told us again to expect an inch. If that. At this point, I was a little wary that maybe they did think the same joke would be funny two times in a row, but right at that moment snow was not falling from the sky, so I determined it would be best to trust their judgment of appropriate jokery. Off to school we went.

At approximately 12:45 PM, our fresh inch showed up. At about 1:30 I was suspicious when this "inch" doubled in size. At 4:30, I was ready to give time and temp a piece of my mind. All was forgiven at 7 when it stopped snowing. But at 7:30 it started again.

It's now 6 o'clock PM, the next day. It has not stopped snowing since 7:30 last night, except for a few possible pauses over night while we were all sleeping. And those don't count. But really, it's my fault we got this much snow. You know what they say: fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I had the naivety to trust time and temp when they were so obviously pranking us again. They did nothing wrong, really. They were just trying to be funny. At the end of the day, it's the intent that matters. Not the fact that their little laugh got me soaked up to my kneecaps in my brand new pants or made a pile of snow fall onto the seat of the car when I opened the door or meant I was late for my first day at my internship. Just the intent. It's all good!

Well, tomorrow's Wednesday, and I have to walk 3/4 of a mile to get from my internship to school. I'd better call time and temp to see what I can expect weather-wise. Oh, just an inch? No problem.

Ah, Air Travel: the Pretentiousness of the Business Class Lounge

As many of you know, I am currently en route to Nairobi, Kenya to spend the Christmas holiday (for those of you who don't know, guess what! I'm going to Africa! Cool, huh? Sorry you're not on the in list to already know that. I guess I don't like you that much). The government is paying for my family to fly out there, mostly just because they think we're cool. Since Kenya is so far away (Becca can back me up on that one, she took Geography. As it turns out, it's on the other side of the world. Who knew? Becca, that's who.) those of us who were traveling "on orders" (aka those of us under twenty-one or married. They're not as nice to the single twenty-somethings. Mostly we get classified as "crazies" or "weirdies". Fascists.) get to fly in business class. And subsequently get to use the BUSINESS CLASS LOUNGE. This is also known as THE MOST PRETENTIOUS PLACE ON EARTH.

[At this moment, you may be thinking, "Dear, idiotic Alyssa. You are twenty-one and far from married. I could name a boatload of people who would consider you a crazy and even more that think of you as a weirdy. There is no way you have a business class ticket. What in the name of all that is good are you doing in that lounge?" The answer is simple: out of the goodness of her pure, pure heart (it's almost Christmas, folks) my mom bought me a two-month membership, which means I can get in and so can anyone I'm related to. Luckily, diseases like pretentiousness are not airborne, so I'm safe. (Speaking of Airborne, they give it out free here!)]

As I write this note, I am sitting in the business class lounge of the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport. The layout of the place is simple: off to the right we have a slew of desks with high walls for people to use their laptops and phones and to use the internet and to conduct business (funny how that works, huh? Conducting business in the business class lounge). Moving along there are a gaggle of chairs to lounge in (this is the lounge part of the title) with mini-tables, magazine racks, and potted plants scattered throughout. Up a ramp there is something of a finger food and drinks bar where you can eat cookies and apples and mini crackers to your heart's desire. There are also several different forms of alcoholic drinks to choose from. There might have been a soda fountain and a hot chocolate machine, but you know me. I only have eyes for Bloody Marys and ice cold Bud Light.

Anyway, all that description is well and good and probably somewhat boring, but that's not the point of this note. The point of this note it to make fun of the place! Cause goodness knows I can, so very easily. There seem to be several requirements to be socially acceptable in a place like this:

Requirement number 1. You must own a Bluetooth Headset. I swear, with the exception of my family and a kind-eyed, bearded, old man off to my right who looks remarkable similar to one jolly old Saint Nick, everyone here has one! And I don't care who you are, unless you are driving a car, you look absolutely retarded talking on a Bluetooth Headset. Especially when you're just standing there with your hands in your pockets. Goodness me. It's like these people purchased the headsets just because they were expensive.

[This is not a picture of Joseph, although he is displaying something that is completely taboo in this place, a Push Pop. It is a picture of the man behind him, with the Bluetooth Headset in this ear, simply to validate my point that everyone here has one (don't ask questions). Note for the future: I need validation.]

Requirement number 2: You must be dressed like you are going to an expensive restaurant or to a stuffy old art show. Clothing items such as basketball shorts or hoodies are punishable by dismemberment or death. Funny side note 1: I'm dressed in basketball shorts and a hoody. Funny side note 2: if you buy a shirt with an interesting (read: ugly) pattern at Wal-mart, no good. If you buy a shirt with an interesting (again, read: ugly) at Barney's, you're in. Ah, capitalism and brand-name labels.

[Me, soon to be maimed for my unsightly attire. As it turns out, I am approximately one hundred times as comfortable than one hundred percent of the people here. Boo freaking ya. Ironically, the look on my face is remarkably similar to the looks on the faces of many a person in this lounge as I walk by. Such looks were responded with hearty winks and cheesy smiles. See if they try to oppress me again.]

Requirement number 3: you must be on your laptop at all times. I can't really make fun of this one without appearing hypocritical, but I'm going to anyway. Come on people, get off the net and join the human race (I first typed that "humor race". I might like that better). Talk to your travel companions! Meet someone new! Smile back when I wink at you! Okay, I'm done with the hypocrisy.

I'm really enjoying writing this note from ground zero of pompousness. No joke, I just looked up and a fifty or sixty-year-old man, Mimosa in hand, gave me a withering glare. Get off your high horse, you pansy.

Point is, this place is stuffy. And it makes me feel like a grungy ol' rebel. Which is a feeling a don't entirely dislike. I just can't wait until we get to Amsterdam. From what I've heard, their lounge is even nicer. And as we all know, Europeans are even better than Americans at snobbery.

[The Business Class Lounge: Where your drug habits are facilitated.]

[The Business Class Lounge: Where even the fake flowers in the bathroom look more ostentatious than me.]