Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Dear Facebook... Pretty Much You Owe Me Big

Like much of the world, I am a Facebook user. Unlike much of the world, I have been on Facebook for four and a half years.

It's true! Back when I joined, Facebook was exclusive. It was only open to colleges, and a limited number at that. Shortly after BYU was added to their growing list (circa September 2004), a friend of mine from Dartmouth sent me an invite and I began my four and a half year long (and counting!) journey.

Back when I joined Facebook:

-It was known as TheFacebook - I remember when the "The" was dropped.

-You could only join a group if it was made for your network.

-You could browse all the groups in your network. There were maybe 10 when I joined.

-I created one of those first groups. It was about pirates.

-We were impressed when we got over 100 members in the group, and kept pushing towards 200.

-You could also browse all the people in your network. There were maybe 30 when I joined.

-Mini feed? What's that?

-You could write something on someone's wall, and someone else could edit what you wrote.

-Other than your profile picture, you couldn't post any photos to your profile.

-It was acceptable to add people you didn't know to your friend list. A good chunk of my "friends" were people I had never heard of.

-When someone updated their profile, it didn't say what they updated.

-There were none of these annoying applications. No one cared which Harry Potter character you are.

-There was an actual face to represent Facebook. He was blue, and made out of numbers.

-Gifts? I don't get it.

As I'm sure you can tell - no doubt much of this sounds foreign to you, unlike any Facebook you know of - I've been around this website for a while. I know it's ins and outs and what it was like, you know, back in the day.

So, it's been established: I've been on Facebook for some time. In my long and prolific history with the social networking phenomenon, I have brought many people into the fold. I think it's fair to say that each of my immediate family members except for my dad joined because of me... two of my freshman roommates joined because of me... various co-workers and other friends also have me to thank for their introduction to the site. And who knows how many of them were the cause of their friends and family members to join! The list could go on and on.

What I'm trying to say is, Facebook, you have upwards of 175 million users, right? Isn't it fair to say that I had a hand, direct or indirect, in a decent-sized percentage of that 175 mil? Don't you think it's time to thank me for my loyal service? I'd like a slice of that lucrative financial pie. I'll take cash, check, or PayPal. Whichever is convenient to you. Also, you're welcome.


Cass said...

Nice. I haven't been on THAT long, I don't remember most of the stuff you're talking about, but man. They've certainly made a lot of changes in just a few short years, huh?

Marisa said...

Haha Alyssa I love it! I completely agree! I got that same invite from Bonnie back in the day and all of my immediate AND extended family now has it...largely because of me! lol. I remember when it used to say "Member since ___" underneath the profile picture. Guess they decided to do away with that as well. haha but yeah, lots has changed since that first year in 2004!

The Dally Llama said...

I'll write Mark Zuckerberg to tell him. I'd bet I can get him to make a mini-Alyssa that people can send as a gift. -A limited edition gift with only 100,000 available, of course.


BTW, my word verification is "hebbio." I don't think it's a word, but it should be. I think it should be the name of a respiratory infection, or perhaps a spinal disorder.

Lys-face said...

Would all the proceeds go to me? Cause I could use $100,000 in my pocket.

Also, I'm pretty sure hebbio is the technical term for strep throat in ebonics. Yo, I can't go out, dawg. I've got some hebbio all up in my grill.

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