Tuesday, March 20, 2012
A Call to Action
If you've ever seen TPIR, you know that their target demographic is the elderly. The breaks between pricing games are filled with commercials for AARP, power chairs, guaranteed-acceptance life insurance, and no-hassle cellular telephone plans.
And these commercials are awful. Plus I'm pretty I saw many of the same commercials during TPIR eight years ago when I was still in high school. There is one commercial in particular that we all loathe. It's for Hover Round, one of the many brands of power chairs that AARP members could own at little to no cost to them. It features a rotund gentleman lounging in his Hover Round, singing an incredibly irritating song about how Hover Round takes him where he wants to go. My mom always makes sure her TV is on mute during the commercial breaks because of how much she hates that song. She gets very angry indeed if she forgets. There was a day last week where they didn't show that commercial at all during the entire show. Undulations of joy were expressed around the Western Hemisphere. But our elation was short-lived because the next day they played it twice.
Naturally I feel bad that I have such hatred in my heart for that man. He's old (obviously) and disabled. He probably got hurt in the war or something and that's why he can't use his legs. All he wants to do is visit the Grand Canyon and he is just mocked for it! Mocked!
But then I hear his song again and all my guilt is washed away.
My point is this: the commercials during TPIR suck. They are worse than local commercials and local commercials are like squeezing lemon juice into a paper cut. Therefore I feel it is my duty as a decent human being to call the elderly to action.
Old people! Stop settling for these two dollar budget, decade old (or more, who can say?) commercials! The ability to translate creative ideas into a fifteen or thirty second format has come a long way since you first started watching TV and we as consumers shoulno longer stand for such poor workmanship! Do not be tempted by the deck of large print playing cards or magnifying lens offered if you call about their products - that is playing right into their hands and telling them that you approve of their work! Instead call and say you will buy one of their power chairs or life insurance policies if they will put an effort into pursuing your business! You've seen the Super Bowl; tell them you will only accept commercials of that caliber - any less and you will not be sending them your business!
You are the future!