Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Bug Story

Let me preface this tale by saying that some people may have unreasonably high expectations for this story.  All I said was that this story existed, and that it was gross.  Both truthful statements.

I further preface with a warning: If you have arachnophobia, you will probably not want to read this.

I personally do not have arachnophobia.  Do I like spiders?  No.  Do they creep me out?  Certainly.  But there is no universally accepted term for arachnocreepmeoutia.  Perhaps there should be.

Lewis is in grad school and as such spends much of his time studying.  Saturday morning was no exception, and while he worked I was trying not to interrupt him with any "honey-do"s or the like.  So when I saw a spider waddling across our living room floor (this should have been my first warning.  Spiders don't waddle.), I resisted the urge to yell for Lewis and instead grabbed one of his shoes to take care of this little beast myself.

Wham! went the shoe on the spider.

Out spewed forth the bajillion baby spiders the waddling menace was pregnant with.

Just remembering the sight so that I could write about it here made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

I don't remember doing it, but Lewis said I screamed.  I do remember calling for him to come to my aid which he did, post haste, thinking that something was seriously wrong.

I still maintain something was.

My alleged scream woke Jack up from his nap, so I took him downstairs to get a snack where I saw...


Yep, some ants had found their way into our home and were snacking on a piece of cereal on the floor.  Lewis investigated and found their point of entry.  Eliminating that effectively would entail replacing the weatherstripping around our back door, getting some bug spray and ant traps, and quarantining the area from Jack for the rest of the day.

Lewis did not end up getting much studying done at all that day.  And just when I was thanking him for being such a sweet spouse and sacrificing so much to protect Jack and me from the creepy crawlies, he decided to creep me out further by talking about how he probably didn't kill all the baby spiders and they would probably grow up in the vacuum cleaner and then come after me all at once.  So I made him empty the vacuum canister right away for being so rude.  AND I DIDN'T EVEN SAY PLEASE.

But seriously, Lew.  Thanks for making our house pest-free.

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