Sunday, December 5, 2010

Germs, Germs, Germs

I recently discovered that being a schoolteacher has made me a total germaphobe. I guess it all started back when I did my first cohort. Yep. I'll blame my mentor teacher from that practicum. She was pregnant and therefore freaked out about all kinds of potential germs for her baby. (Ironically, as I discovered when she got a substitute, she did not regularly wipe down her kidney table. The sub and I cleaned it off for her and the used Clorox wipes were gross.)

Anyway, she gave me all sorts of advice for keeping the germs off. Don't touch students' pencils, don't give hugs, and above all else, sanitize, sanitize, sanitize. Hand sanitizer was an absolute must at the start of the school year.

Now don't get me wrong. My students are very clean. Consciously, I am not really worried about getting any germs from them. But unconsciously? Well that's a different story. Unconsciously my old mentor teacher's fears got into my head. Especially since I hate, hate, hate getting sick. And it doesn't help that I am currently nursing my second cold in less than a month.

But now the germaphobia has spread into other things. I wince at touching the handrails to stairs. I hesitate at grasping public door handles to enter a building. I don't even like to unwrap my silverware from their napkin at restaurants because then I have nowhere to put the knife and fork but on the table. And don't even get me started on shopping! (Read: I'm going to start talking about shopping now.)

If you know me at all, you'll know I'm not a big shopper. I don't dress very stylishly because I don't like spending money and cute clothes are expensive (lame, I know). I like to look nice, but shopping is just so much work! And now germs have ruined even what little appreciation I had for buying new clothes. People touch those things! They put them on their germy bodies! Yuck!

Shoes are the worst. Feet are just gross. I know must shoe places provide little booties so that people can at least have some semblance of cleanliness. But a) those things are little, rip easily, and don't stay up, b) not everyone uses them, and c) people who just wear their own socks might have sweaty socks.

I think I just prefer to shop online. And then if what I order doesn't fit, I'm too lazy to send it back so whatevs.

Ahh, who am I kidding? I'll just have to suppress my wild, germy imagination and go get clothing when I need clothing. I'm slowly becoming a more snappy dresser anyway. Just ask my husband and the kick-a coat he boat me last night.

After all, I still go into buildings even when I think the doorknob is gross.

And in the end, even with all my clean habits (I love me some hand sanitizer and Clorox wipes), I'm still nursing my second cold in less than a month.


Mary said...

Awww. You're so . . . damaged fundamentally. :D Still love you!

Aaron and Hannah Kam Family said...

I can relate to this! I hate it when the kids pick up colds from Nursery, it's going to happen no matter what! And I have to say, as a former employee of a retail store, SWIMSUITS are the absolute worst items to ever try on, and then for the worker to put them back on the hanger. *gags slightly*

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