I Rebut That, Good Sir!

Dear Lewis,

I admire your willingness to stick to your guns. However, my dear husband, you have proven nothing.

You based your argument on the felicity conditions of a date. The problem with this is that felicity conditions are entirely subjective. True, according to your personal felicity conditions, what we did together at the TCU game could be considered a date. However, such conditions were decided upon just this evening as you wrote your response. You picked the conditions that fit your argument right then and there - how are we to trust that as reliable?

Your evidence - not proof - is circumstantial at best. According to Wikipedia, circumstantial evidence is "a collection of facts that, when considered together, can be used to infer a conclusion about something unknown." In a court of law, circumstantial evidence is usually corroborated by a witness' testimony. You will find that the witnesses are on my side. Mary understood that you hoped this would be a date, but that it was not. Aaron - that guy I gave my number to, my old home teacher and a very good friend who was also not interested in me - didn't see it as a date. Kelson obviously didn't see it as a date either! I'm sure you hoped it could have been a date, even planned for it to be a date. But the execution was just a shade too sloppy, and we were left with a nice hang-out with a group of friends. I guess I just don't understand how someone can be on a date and not know it.

But it's okay, babe. You can hang on to your subjective opinion and I'll hang on to mine. It keeps things interesting. Or spicy, as Phyllis Lapin-Vance might say. in any case, I appreciate you giving me a second chance, since in your mind I was such a horrible date. I do hope you find my actions justified in my continued understanding that I was not on a date.

Your loving wife,

Alyssa