Monday, November 24, 2008

Ten Surprising Things About Alyssa...That You Probably Already Knew

1. I always check behind the shower curtain whenever I go in the bathroom. I don't know when I started doing this, or why, but I do know that it has nothing to do with the movie "Psycho," mostly because I've never seen it and also because I was doing it before I ever heard of the famous shower scene in that movie. Do I think there could be an ax murderer in there just lying in wait to do me in while I take a leak? Maybe. Or also possibly my husband, trying to get me back for putting the salmon pillow under his sheet. Who knows? Who really knows?

2. I have an irrational fear of dogs. There's no real origin of this one either. When people ask me how this phobia came about, I'll tell them about when I was chased by a dog on the paper route we all shared when I was a wee one. That story is true, but I was terrified of dogs well before then. People also always ask if I'm afraid of big dogs or little dogs. That question is stupid. All dogs scare me. Except one. His name was Ralph and he was adorable. Then some jerk adopted him right out from under us.

3. I have a love/hate relationship with Starburst jelly beans. Normally, I hate jelly beans, no questions asked. They all have weird flavors, and the texture gives me the willies when I chew them. Starburst jelly beans, however, have quite pleasant flavors. But their texture still sucks. So I love them but also hate them. Usually what I do when they are near by is suck on them to enjoy the flavor and then spit them out before I have to chew 'em. Seeing as that is gross, and the flavor is the same as original Starbursts, I generally stick with those.

4. One of my favorite things to do is to watch people and figure out what their story is based on how they act and interact with others. It's a really fun thing to do at the mall or pretty much anywhere on campus. Something interesting about it, is that you can often get enough information to go on through just a glimpse. Case in point: the other day, while Lewis was waiting for me in the parking lot, I passed a guy and a girl having a conversation right outside the Wilk. From what I heard as I walked past them, they were having something of a DTR. The girl was apologizing and also giggling (she was clearly uncomfortable), and was basically telling the boy, "It's not you, it's me," although maybe not in those words. The guy was obviously upset, as the conversation was not going at all like he hoped. You could tell from their body language that the guy was really into the girl, and she was completely clueless about it, and also lacking in the sensitivity to let him down easy (remember the giggling). When I got in the car I pointed them out to Lewis and we made up their story. It was great fun, and no one got hurt, right?

5. I'm probably one of the most competitive people you will ever meet. No, seriously. And I hate to lose. But I can't stop myself from making everything a competition. And Lewis knows that about me, and capitalizes on it. For example, we can't walk up or down stairs together anymore without it being a race. Nor can we hold hands without it turning into a thumb war. It's a sickness! But I love it. And I have become better at losing. Sort of. I don't cheat, though. Not unless it's really obvious that I cheated, so we all can laugh about it. Besides, Lewis cheats all the time.

6. My all time favorite book is "To Kill a Mockingbird."

7. I hate chick flicks. I have seen many a chick flick, and they all end the same way: the nice girl and the nice guy with flaws end up together, oodelaly. I don't need to see anymore. I will (and have!) watch many a chick flick with friends and family members cause I like the time spent with the person in question, not the movie. And if it's a really dumb one, that person will make fun of it with me! That being said, the only person with whom I will seek out to watch a chick flick is my mom. I don't know why, but it seems the chick flicks I've watched with her tend to be one of two things: either they are of a higher quality that you don't mind (or notice) the chickity flickity formula, or she recognizes the stupidity of the majority right off the bat and then the crisis is averted.

8. I am a published writer. I know, right? Back in the day (I can say that now, I'm married) I was a critic for high school theater. And let me tell you what, high school theater has the unfortunate habit of sucking. At least in the National Capital Area. Now, now, there were always exceptions to the rule to be found. But these were few and far between. And the critic programs I worked for had a rule: any actual criticisms in our critical reviews had to be general. And even then, we had to phrase it nicely, and qualify it with a compliments. Like we could say, "A few lines were forgotten, here and there, but these instances were forgotten with the magnificent costumes!" and not "Mandy Jo stunk on ice! Did she ever even look at the script, or did she think it would be available on stage for reference?" Not that any professional critic would say that. But still. It was hard to write those reviews. But I did it every week and even got three of my reviews published in local papers. They were available for reading online for a while (they even used to come up first when you googled my name), but I can't find them anymore. If I ever find them, I'll post them and you can read for yourself my awesomeness.

9. I have a weird memory. I can memorize things really quickly. I was the scripture mastery queen in seminary. Yes, I know that's really, really, nerdy. Don't judge me. I also have been known to memorize a part in a play in under an hour (I'm no Mandy Jo!), and I memorized the entire NATO phonetic alphabet the other day - just for kicks and giggles (alpha, bravo, charlie, delta, echo, foxtrot, golf, hotel, india, juliet, kilo, lima, mike, november, oscar, papa, quebec, romeo, sierra, tango, uniform, victor, whiskey, xray, yankee, zulu - it's a sickness!). The other weirdness about my memory is that I remember really strange details. Like, I'll forget where we went the other night, but I'll remember exactly what we were wearing. That sort of thing. Or I'll remember what someone said at some random time, but I won't remember the names of the six stages of morality that were pounded into us in my moral development class for a week.

10. My roommate once told me, after I had taken some drowsy cold meds and felt like I was on a high, "High Alyssa is Extra-Strength Awesome Alyssa." So now you know why my thingy is named what it is. Because of that once-said statement. Not because I'm always (or ever) high. Just thought I'd clear that up.


willus said...

What about the fact that you're a National Champion?


I do not cheat.

lucás said...

I remember the first time I caught L.W. Young cheating. He was covered head to toe with melted chocolate seated in his bathtub. Upon seeing that I had discovered him he immediately started crying. It was a touching moment to say the least.

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